Personal Branding Master Class 101 with Sir Eric Seyram A (Tips and Tricks by Sir Eric Seyram A on How to Improve Your Self Image)

“I’ve always thought that a name says a lot about a person. So naturally, being named Howard, I always wanted to crawl into a hole.”

Howard Stern

Improving your self-image is important and like improving any skill, it takes time and practice. You can make use of the following tips and tricks to improve your self-image.

-              List some of the things you like about yourself. This may include appearance and skills etc.

-              Change negative feelings and thoughts of yourself by focusing on the positive ones.

-              Ignore the negative descriptions made about you in school, at home and by friend.

-              Remember the things people say about you and note them down.

-              Examine whether opinions about you are truthful.

-              Make any changes if you think they will help you. For example you can change your cloths and behavior.

-              Accept things about yourself that true and learn to think about them in a positive way.

-              Accept criticism in a positive way so that you can improve and develop them.

•             Self esteem

Another major component of the self-concept is self-esteem which generally refers to how you value, like, accept and respects yourself. Self-esteem is different from self-image. It is based on how you see your capabilities and worth as a human being. It is believed that everything you feel, think and do is influenced by how you value and respect yourself. This in turns affects how you relate to others.

Self-esteem therefore emanates from

-              Your value as a person

-              Your achievements

-              How you think others see you

-              Your potential for success

-              Your strengths and weaknesses

-              How you relate to others

-              Your ability to stand on your own feet etc.

However, these values and feelings about you may be positive, negative or mixed. The more positive they are, the higher your self-esteem. On the other hand, the more negative these feelings and values are, the lower your self-esteem.

Your self-esteem develops throughout your lifetime. As you grow up, your successes and failures in additions to how you will be treated by your family, teachers and peers may contribute to the creation of the initial self-esteem.

For example if your family always compares you to others and is never satisfied with whatever you do at home, in school or at work, then your self-esteem may be negatively affected. Similarly, people who grow up in fault finding families, communities and work places where achievements are not praised, rather faults are given more importance would most likely have low self-esteem.

•             High self-esteem.

This therefore can be defined as the true honest and positive view of one’s self. Having high self-esteem means you have a high value and respect for yourself and it is most often the reason why other people respect you. If you can say; ‘I like just the way I am. I’d rather be me than anybody else on earth’ you can be rest assured that your self-esteem is high and positive.

Meditate on this

-              Do you have a genuine appreciation of what you can do?

-              Do you have an honest respect for your own abilities, potentials and values?

-              Do you know your strengths and trust in them?

-              Do you accept your limitations and understand that they can be overcome?

-              Do you have a strong sense of who you are?

Do it your self

-              List five things that you can genuinely do

-              State 3 of your abilities, potentials and values each

-              List five of your strengths and indicate if you honestly trust in them

-              List five of your limitations and indicate if each of them can be overcome

-              In a two sentences write a statement of who you are

It is however important to note that having high self-esteem is not about being arrogant or bragging about what you have and your achievements. But it is taking stock of what kind of person you are in life. Self-esteem also does not shield you from low self-confidence, uneasiness and fear. It is simply makes it easier to stand and handle problems

The following is a check list of characteristics that you should portray or have to determine if you have a high self-esteem.

-              Sense of control

High self-esteem gives a you a sense of control over life. It helps you to know that your body, your mind, feelings do not belong to others and that you do not live up to other peoples wishes or expectations. Self-esteem therefore allows you to set reasonable expectations for yourself and to pursue your goals.

-              Happy and confident

People with high self-esteem are usually found to be happy and confident. They may be pleased with their abilities, skills and achievements. They are also cordial, friendly and show respect for other people’s views. Such people are also highly encouraged and have the right attitude to succeed in their activities. For example, a person with self-esteem may say ‘I can do, I can have and I can make my life what I desire it to be’

-              Accepting responsibility

People with high self-esteem are also able to accept responsibility for their actions and everything that happens in their lives. If things are not going on well for them, they ask; what am I doing to change this situation. They do not resort to shifting the blame or using others as scapegoats for their failures or problems.

For example a student with a low self-esteem receives low marks in a class test. He might think he is stupid, while another student with a high self-esteem who receives the same mark might say ‘I need to study harder for the next text”

-              Personal success                   

Self-esteem is an important feature of every individual, because it influences and sometimes even determines success in what you do. People with high self -esteem can do better in school and find easier to make friends. It also helps a person to feel satisfied and have a positive or successful relationship with other people, family, peers etc.

-              Doing the right thing

A person with high self- esteem may do the right thing even if exposed to the wrong set of people. Such a person has high regard for himself and may not follow what other people are doing, because he knows what is right from wrong.

-              Protection against social evils

High self-esteem protects people, particularly young from exposure to a wide range of social evils. These include abuse of drugs, crimes, and unsafe sexual practices that could result in unsafe pregnancies.

-              Reacting positively to situations

A child’s self-esteem affects how he sees and reacts to situations. For example, a child with a healthy self -concept asks a friend to play and the friend says no. He might think okay, if Kofi doesn’t want to play and say now I will ask someone else. On the other hand, a child with an unhealthy self-esteem might interpret the situation differently and say, Kofi hates me.

If these above characteristics are absent, it was due to the following factors in your past

-              You have not being encouraged by yourself and others to stand up and fight again when you mistakenly did something wrong or failed.

-              You do not praise yourself or are not praised by others for your effort

-              You were not privileged enough to receive attention, hugs, commendation and gifts from parents, families friends and work colleagues upon a success

-              You have never experienced success in sports, academics, relationship and other social activities

-              No one around you and your situations do not dare to encourage you to try new things

-              People around you do not speak to you respectively but are always abusive

-              You don’t trust people around you, not your family, friends, work colleagues and leaders

-              You are not offered the appropriate level of support and listening ear from home, school, community or workplace.

-              You were not given responsibility appropriate to your age and abilities if any responsibilities are given at all you are abused, exploited and misused.

-              You do not receive any appropriate and Constance guidance, monitoring and evaluation at home, school or work place.

•             Low self esteem

These results in what is termed low self-esteem, which is the belief that you are of no value and feeling of being unwanted. It is thus an overall doubtful and negative view of oneself. People with low self-esteem may feel as if no one likes or accepts them or that they can’t do well in anything.

A person with low self-esteem may blame himself for things or problems that are not his fault. Such a person may undervalue his abilities, as well as expecting things to go wrong. Let’s look at some low self-esteem statements below.

-              People don’t like me

-              I can’t do anything right

-              I am ugly

-              People don’t listen to me

-              I am always saying stupid things

-              I always make the wrong decisions

-              My life is a mess and I can’t do anything about it.

Effect of low self-esteem

This causes a wide range of unwanted behaviors; from crime and drug addiction, to educational failure. The following is a description of effects on people found to exhibit low self-esteem:

•             Self-dissatisfaction

•             Worry and depression

•             Week academic and job Performance

•             Lack of self-control

•             Fear and lack of self confidence

•             Problems in relationships

•             The struggle for excellence

•             Exposure to drug and alcohol abuse.